Choose Compassion

Universal Human Needs

This is a suggested list intended to support learning, and is not a substitute to finding our own words which fit our experience. The categories are arbitrary.

Acceptance Autonomy Care Authenticity Beauty
Affection Choice Compassion Awareness Ease
Appreciation Growth Consideration Celebration Equality
Attention Independence Empathy Challenge Flow
Belonging Power Equality Clarity Harmony
Cooperation Self Expression Inclusion Competence Hope
Communication Self Responsibility Kindness Contribution Inspiration
Consistency Space Mutuality Creativity Mourning
Empathy Spontaneity Recognition Discovery Order
Friendship Humor Respect Dignity Presence
Harmony Joy To hear and be Efficiency PHYSICAL
Intimacy Play heard Effectiveness WELLBEING
Love Pleasure To know and be Healing Air
Nurturing   known Honesty Exercise
Sharing   To see and be seen Integrity Food & Water
Support   To trust and be Learning Physical Safety
Tenderness   trusted Mourning Sexual Expression
Warmth   To understand and Participation Shelter
    be understood Purpose Sleep & Rest
    To value and be Stimulation Stability
    valued Self Respect Touch

Feelings When Needs Are Not Met

Apprehensive Animosity Agitated Beat Anxious
Dread Appalled Alarmed Burnt out Cranky
Foreboding Contempt Discombobulated Depleted Distressed
Mistrustful Disgust Disconcerted Exhausted Distraught
Panicked Dislike Disturbed Lethargic Edgy
Petrified Hate Perturbed Listless Fidgety
Scared Horrified Rattled Sleepy Frazzled
Suspicious Hostile Restless Tired Irritable
Terrified Repulsed Shocked Weary Jittery
Wary CONFUSION Surprised Worn out Nervous
Worried Ambivalent Troubled PAIN Overwhelmed
ANNOYED Baffled Turbulent Agony Restless
Aggravated Bewildered Turmoil Anguished Stressed out
Dismayed Dazed Uncomfortable Bereaved VULNERABLE
Disgruntled Hesitant Uneasy Devastated Fragile
Displeased Lost Unnerved Grief Guarded
Exasperated Mystified Unsettled Heartbroken Helpless
Frustrated Perplexed Upset Hurt Insecure
Impatient Puzzled EMBARRASSED Lonely Leery
Irritated Torn Ashamed Miserable Reserved
Irked DISCONNECTED Chagrined Regretful Sensitive
ANGRY Alienated Flustered Remorseful Shaky
Enraged Aloof Guilty SAD YEARNING
Furious Apathetic Mortified Depressed Envious
Incensed Bored Self-conscious Dejected Jealous
Indignant Cold   Despair Longing
Irate Detached   Despondent Pining
Livid Distracted   Discouraged Nostalgic
Outraged Indifferent   Disheartened Wistful
Resentful Numb   Forlorn  
  Removed   Gloomy  
  Uninterested   Heavy hearted  
  Withdrawn   Hopeless  

Feelings When Needs Are Met

Compassionate Absorbed Animated Appreciative Calm
Friendly Alert Ardent Moved Clear headed
Loving Engrossed Aroused Thankful Comfortable
Open hearted Enchanted Astonished Touched Centered
Sympathetic Entranced Dazzled HOPEFUL Content
Tender Fascinated Eager Expectant Equanimous
Warm Interested Energetic Encouraged Fulfilled
CONFIDENT Intrigued Enthusiastic Optimistic Mellow
Empowered Involved Giddy JOYFUL Quiet
Open Spellbound Invigorated Amused Relaxed
Proud Stimulated Lively Delighted Relieved
Safe INSPIRED Passionate Glad Satisfied
Secure Amazed Surprised Happy Serene
  Awed Vibrant Jubilant Still
  Wonder EXHILARATED Pleased Tranquil
    Blissful Tickled Trusting
    Ecstatic   REFRESHED
    Elated   Enlivened
    Enthralled   Rejuvenated
    Exuberant   Renewed
    Radiant   Rested
    Rapturous   Restored
    Thrilled   Revived

These lists have been inspired from those of the Centre for Nonviolent Communication