Choose Compassion

Rik Midgley - Nonviolent Communication - North Wales

About Rik Midgley: I am an internationally certified trainer of Nonviolent Communication, living near Bangor, North Wales. Previously, I've worked for about a decade in environmental science research, and later as a ceramic artist and a vegetable grower.

Raised in a culture of oppression of human feelings, I held pain and confusion. My yearning to live harmoniously with a sense of belonging led me on a journey of discovery. This began in 1990 with the self-introspection process of Vipassana Meditation, and its liberating power of empathic self-connection. The self-awareness that this nurtured led to a gradual reduction in my ‘unconscious’ habitual behaviours and a growing sense of agency and calm. It revealed the power of listening tangibly to my body, thus building trust in my body’s underlying compassionate message with its inherent capacity to heal.

Rik Midgley

Nonviolent Communication gave me the bridge between my mind and body, an understanding of how the energy driving thought is both rooted in the body and is reflected back to the body. I realised that I become how I think. My journey became one of taking responsibility for my feelings, of self acceptance through a self-empathic awareness of my body. A journey both in owning my judgmental thinking, and in owning the choices I had made in the past in association with my unprocessed pain. NVC supported the differentiation of the two. With present awareness, my thoughts that are rooted in my shadow could be isolated and held in compassionate embrace allowing the natural healing process.

I hold NVC as a powerful tool for social change. It is my experience that when I perceive 'conflict', it is my yearning for understanding, a recognition that my unprocessed pain lies as a barrier between my heart and my seeing the underlying intension of the other. The language of NVC consciousnness, with its connection to values, invites a safety in mutual understanding, and brings space to explore potential ways forward. In connection to these values, I found support to accept myself as I am, to move into presence, to bring awarness to my otherwise habitual response, and thus enhance my capacity to choose compassion as the way that works for me.

The healing is in the feeling! I have experienced deep transformation in my life. I have conviction that the root of the change is in the open acceptance and sensitivity of awareness of my tangible body. It is in the how I listen to myself, the quality of the relationship. I understand this as my empowerment, my capacity to contribute to the creation of a world where I am present, aware and fully alive. I long to live in compassionate acceptance of myself and others around me, in gratitude for the wonder of life itself.

In my curiosity of how this awareness can be nurtured I have continued my meditation, studied yoga, taichi, somatics, trauma therapies, and this has led to my creation of an awareness and movement process that I call Self-Connection Qigong and my running workshop to celebrate the Consciousness of NVC